When a husband loves his wife, she will respond with respect. As we delve into the topic – Husband, love your wife, it is important to remember that love, as described in the Bible, is more than just a feeling; it’s a commitment to act in ways that promote the well-being and happiness of your spouse. Love is demonstrated through intentional actions!
Let’s look at some key principles from the Book of Ephesians and a few other verses of the Scripture – on how a man can love his wife.
1. Connect Spiritually
Spiritual intimacy is a powerful bond. Husbands are called to love their wives in a way that mirrors Christ’s sanctifying love for the Church, which involves spiritual leadership and living a holy and blameless life together.
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.
We can see how this verse highlights the spiritual dimension of marriage. This calls for a deep, shared faith and commitment to growing together in holiness. Praying together strengthens your spiritual connection and invites God’s guidance and blessings into your marriage. The spiritual health of your marriage will affect the efficacy of your prayers, so you must be united spiritually as a couple. Take time to pray with and for your wife regularly, seeking God’s wisdom and strength for your relationship. Worship God together and encourage her spiritual growth – including personal study of the word.
By doing this, you are building a foundation of spiritual intimacy and a deeper connection with each other and with God. To fulfil your role as the spiritual head of your home, you must have a personal relationship with God and spend time in his presence daily in worship, study of the word and prayer. A prayerful man is a powerful man.
2. Communicate Openly
Effective communication is key to understanding and meeting each other’s needs. Take time to talk with your wife daily, share your thoughts and feelings. Engage in open and honest communication, with love and respect. By being transparent, you build trust and unity in your marriage. Feel free to discuss your career aspirations, roles and responsibilities in the home and how you can maintain balance and harmony. Open communication about finances is crucial for a healthy marriage. Discuss your financial goals to avoid misunderstandings and to ensure that you are both on the same page. These are just a few of the topics you can discuss. Communication is two-way, so allow your wife to express herself and communicate freely without being judgemental. Speak words that builds up rather than tear down.
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
Listen actively to your wife and seek to understand her thoughts, feelings, and desires. Give her your full attention by putting aside distractions when she is talking. Also make eye contact to show that you are fully engaged. Avoid interrupting her or providing solution straight away. Affirm what she is saying and use body language to show that you are receptive.
Confirm your understanding of what you’ve heard and show empathy. Demonstrate that you care about what she is saying or what she has gone through. This will strengthen the emotional connection between the two of you. Open communication is vital for a healthy, Christ-centred marriage and it reflects the love and unity that God desires for your marriage. You must ensure that issues are addressed in a way that protects your relationship from misunderstandings or conflicts.
3. Lead with Love
Leadership in marriage, is about serving your wife and leading by example. It’s not about control or just telling her what to do, it’s about guiding your family with love, integrity, and humility. As a leader, you are responsible for the wellbeing of your wife.
For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.
I encourage you to start living out your Christian faith daily by modelling Christ-like behaviour and displaying a genuine desire to honour God in your marriage. A good leader is full of integrity, he is honest, gentle, humble, has self-control, he is trustworthy and takes responsibility for his actions. Let your actions show that you are leading with love.
Marriage is partnership, so you must involve your wife in your decision-making by valuing her opinions and working together as a team. Your decisions should align with your shared vision for your marriage and family, so it is important that you take a collaborative approach. You both have unique strengths and different perspectives, and this is fine. Work together to ensure your decisions accommodate your different viewpoints.
4. Love Sacrificially
In marriage, sacrificial love means putting your wife’s needs and well-being above your own. It’s about serving her with humility and selflessness. This might involve making personal sacrifices, whether big or small, to support her happiness and growth. Christ’s love for the church is the ultimate example of sacrificial love. His willingness to lay down His life for the church sets the standard for how husbands are to love their wives.
Philippians 2:5-8 offers profound insight into the nature of Christ’s sacrificial love. It encourages us to have the same mindset as Christ, who humbled Himself and took on the nature of a servant. His obedience to death, exemplifies the extent of His selflessness. Laying down your lives means setting aside your own interests for her sake. Be flexible and adaptable by offering her practical help in achieving her goals. This can be as simple as supporting her dreams and aspirations and sharing responsibilities at home. When Christ lives in you, His love flows through you. This means your actions and attitudes toward your wife should reflect Christ’s love and sacrifice.
Sacrificial love is about embodying the love of Christ in your marriage by making daily choices that honour and uplift your wife. It’s about demonstrating love through actions that may require personal sacrifice, reflecting the love and mercy you’ve received from God. Loving sacrificially is a lifelong journey that requires commitment, patience, and a heart aligned with Christ.
5. Love Respectfully
Love and Respect are brother and sister and are essential ingredients for a successful marriage relationship. Love is the foundation upon which respect is built. It creates an environment where respect can flourish, and it enables wives to submit with confidence more freely and willingly. This is demonstrated in the relationship between Christ and the Church, where the Church willingly submits to Christ’s loving authority.
Respect is a cornerstone of any loving relationship. So, you must demonstrate consistently that your wife is treasured. Respect is about acknowledging her worth and treating her as an equal partner in your marriage. Value your wife’s opinions and appreciate her contributions to your life and family. Consider her worthy of high regard.
In the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Treat your wife with respect even if you don’t feel like it. Your feelings will eventually catch up with the decision you have made to honour her.
6. Protect Lovingly
Ephesians Chapter 5 verse 28 calls husbands to love their wives by nurturing, caring for, and protecting her. Just as you would naturally protect your own body from harm, you are called to care for and protect your wife in the same manner. This protection involves a commitment to well-being and security of your wife. Some of the ways you can care for your wife are protecting her emotionally, physically, and financially.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.
Emotional protection involves being attuned to your wife’s feelings, providing a supportive shoulder. Be a trusted confidant, someone she can rely on without fear of disregard. Emotional protection also means safeguarding her self-esteem and dignity through kind words and actions.
Physical protection involves providing your wife with a secure and loving home environment, where she feels genuinely safe, loved, and valued. Just as Christ cares for the church, you are to care for your wife by protecting her from harm, disrespect, or anything that might threaten her peace and security. Stand up for her and defend her. Your wife shouldn’t have to fear physical, emotional, or verbal abuse. Jesus has power; but he uses it for good purposes. So, you must manage your physical strength with grace and gentleness. God made you physically stronger so that you can care for your wife and protect her.
Financial Security is not just about covering daily needs or maintaining a lifestyle. It also involves planning for the future, such as saving for emergencies, ensuring adequate health coverage, and contributing to retirement plans. By managing these aspects, you help create a secure environment that protects your wife against financial stress.
7. Be Affectionate
Affection is an expression of the unity and oneness that marriage represents. Cultivate a deep emotional connection and engage in regular acts of love and affection. Physical touch is an important aspect of expressing love. Gestures such as hugs, kisses and holding hands can demonstrate care and deep emotional connection with your wife.
Be intentional about keeping romance alive and making your wife feel desired and loved. These small acts of love will make your wife feel cherished and valued. Through your touch and your look, you can communicate to your wife that you want to be close to her. The Bible is rich with examples and teachings on the importance of affection and tender care within marriage. One of the most beautiful illustrations of marital love is found in Songs of Songs. This book celebrates the joy, passion, and deep affection between a husband and wife. It teaches us that physical expressions of love are an integral part of a God-honouring marriage. The verse below highlights the mutual duty of affection in marriage:
The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
Kindness and compassion are foundational to showing affection. Verbal affection is just as important as physical affection in making your wife feel loved and valued. Showing affection isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s about consistent, loving actions that communicate your dedication and care.
Lastly, become an imitator of Christ and love your wife unconditionally, rather than a reward for good behaviour. Remember that she is not perfect.