There is no Mr. Right, because he is not perfect; he is work in progress. Below are 10 Signs that will help you to quickly discover that the man you are in relationship with is not right for you.

1. If he is not honest and trustworthy, he lacks personal integrity. His actions and behaviour is not a true reflection of who he really is. He will not keep his promises and will not follow through on his commitments.

A good name [earned by honorable behavior, godly wisdom, moral courage, and personal integrity] is more desirable than great riches; And favor is better than silver and gold. (Proverbs 22:1)

2. If he wants you to hide the relationship from family and friends because he doesn’t want to be accountable to anyone; and if he wants both of you to get married secretly. There is nothing called a secret marriage, he obviously has ulterior motives.

For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. (Mark 4:22)

3. If he is not proud of you and makes you feel bad about yourself; he has not accepted, you for who you are. You cannot take on a false identity to be with a man. Your man should inspire you to be a better person; however, this must not be at the expense of losing your identity. God created you in a unique way and you must believe what God said about you. Although you are not perfect, you have been credited with the perfection of Jesus Christ.

My darling, everything about you is beautiful, and there is nothing at all wrong with you (Songs of Solomon 4:7)

4. If he does not want to define the relationship, uses vague words and would rather you continue to see how things will work out between the two of you, he doesn’t know what he wants and is just leading you on. He might be trying out other relationships like clothing; trying to see which one fits the most. Make wise use of your time.

Some people promise things that they never give. They are like clouds and wind that bring no rain. (Proverbs 24:14)

5. If he does not want to talk about your future together and does not understand his purpose in life, he has not yet seen you in his future. A man who does not understand his purpose will find it difficult to recognise the woman that will help him to fulfil his purpose. He needs to seek God’s face and ask him to reveal his purpose and he will surely do.

I will cry to God Most High, who accomplishes all things on my behalf [for He completes my purpose in His plan]. (Psalm 57:2)

6. When he talks badly of everyone, including his parents and family members and blame other people for the challenges he is facing, he is not someone that would take responsibility for his actions. He is likely to avoid taking responsibilities in marriage.

For every person will have to bear [with patience] his own burden [of faults and shortcomings for which he alone is responsible]. (Galatians 6:5)

7. If he is using you to flex his muscles; he needs to learn anger management. A man that is unable to control his emotions is not ready for matrimony.

Better to be slow to anger than to be a mighty warrior, and one who controls his temper is better than one who captures a city. (Proverbs 16:32)

8. If he is too busy to go to Church, doesn’t like to pray and tells you that faith is a thing of the heart. If he doesn’t change, he may not be a good spiritual leader in marriage and may prevent you from being all that God has called you to be. You must give the man the chance to encounter God first. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can do the work of redemption in a man’s life.

Some people have stopped meeting with the group of Christians. But that is not good. We should continue to meet together. We need to help one another to be strong and brave. (Hebrews 10:25)

9. If he wants you to compromise the boundaries you have established through personal convictions based on your relationship with God; he wants you to do things you wouldn’t normally do or believe things which are contrary to the word of God. God does not like it when boundaries are removed.

The princes of Judah are like those who move boundary markers. I will pour out my rage on them like torrential flood! (Hosea 5:10)

10. If he is putting pressure on you to lower your moral standards; he wants to defile you. You are bought with a price, which is the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. If a man does not value purity while single, he will not value purity in marriage.

So, as God’s people, you must never have sex with anyone you are not married to. Do not do any kind of dirty thing like that. Do not want many things for yourselves, just to make you happy. That is not how God’s people should live. (Ephesians 5:3)

The truth is that premarital sex can never make two people cleave to each other. Amnon defiled Tamar, he hated her afterwards. The Bible says:

After this, Amnon hated Tamar with such intensity that the hatred he hated her with was greater than the love he had loved her with. “Get out of here!” he said. (2 Samuel 13:15)

So, is your intended spouse a Mr Right, Mr Wrong or Mr Not Right now?

I pray that God will give you the wisdom you need to make the right choice.