To fulfil your leadership responsibilities as the head of your family, your life must be patterned after our Lord Jesus Christ. The word of God says in 1 Corinthians Chapter 16 verses 13-14:  

Be alert, stand firm in the faith, act like a man, be strong. Your every action must be done with love

 

1. 1. A Real Man loves God

A real man is passionate about his relationship with God; he has come to the realisation that the only way forward is the cross of Jesus Christ. He reads his bible, worships God, and loves to pray. The greatest commandmentsays:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ (Mark 12:30 NCV)

To have a great marriage, you must prioritise your relationship with Christ above all other relationships. He is your source of fulfilment.  You must also inspire your family to grow spiritually by teaching them the way of the Lord by example.

2. A Real Man is a Visionary

A real man has a vision of how to move towards his purpose. He has a plan of where he is going and what he needs to do to get there. When God created Adam, he placed him in the garden of Eden. His purpose was to cultivate and keep the garden in order and have dominion over every living thing that God created. He has a vision of what he should be doing to fulfil his purpose.

Where there is no vision [no revelation of God and His word], the people are unrestrained; But happy and blessed is he who keeps the law [of God]. (Proverbs 29:18)

So, diligently seek God’s vision for all areas of your marriage in the place of prayer and agree with your wife so you can work together as a team; and this will bring unity and growth into your marriage.  

3. A Real Man is Hardworking

A real man works hard to provide for himself and his family. At Eden, Adam had productive work to do – he was the master gardener. As the head of your home, you must work willingly with your hands – putting in your best efforts.

If anyone fails to provide for his own, and especially for those of his own family, he has denied the faith [by disregarding its precepts] and is worse than an unbeliever [who fulfils his obligation in these matters]. ‘ (1 Timothy 5:8)        

You are created in God’s image and likeness, so you must work just like Jesus did. He said in John Chapter 5 verse 17:

… My Father has been working until now [He has never ceased working], and I too am working.

You need to ensure that you establish correct priorities so that your work does not interfere with your relationship with your wife and children. Your family needs you.

4. A Real Man is full of Integrity

He is honest and trustworthy. He does what is right whether in private or public. He walks in the path of Christ and keeps away from hypocrisy. In 2 Corinthians Chapter 4 verse 2, Paul said:

We refuse to do anything secretly that we might be ashamed of. We do not tell lies. We do not change God’s message to deceive people. No. We tell God’s true message clearly. God himself sees that we teach people in an honest way. Everyone should understand that we only do what is right.

You are God’s representative here on earth and your way of life must reflect God’s character – He is the same yesterday, today and forever. You need to be reliable and consistent in all your dealings with people. You must live your life based on what the word of God says, without wavering. So, who are you in private? How do you treat your wife and children when no one is watching?

5. A Real Man Honours his Wife

A real man honours his wife as co-heirs of the grace of life. He values her and considers her worthy of high regard. Your wife deserves to be honoured; think about it, she has honoured you right from the start – she chose you out of all the men that wanted her hand in marriage.

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

Your loving actions will show that you honour your wife. Jesus Christ is the embodiment of a real man; he is our ultimate example of love. He is a servant leader who came down from heaven to lay down his life for us while we were still sinners. So, you must love your wife consistently, even if you don’t feel like it. Your feelings will eventually catch up with your decision to love. In Ephesians Chapter 5 verse 25, the Bible says:

Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25 AMP)

To love your wife as Christ loves the church, you must treat her with respect and this should be evident in your words, attitude, and actions. Think less and less of yourself and put her needs first before yours. Be willing to make sacrifices on her behalf and continue to learn how best to put your love into action. Remember that in the school of love, you are a lifetime student.

Examples of loving actions that demonstrate that you honour your wife:

 

• • Pray for her daily

• • Compliment her consistently

• • Tell her that you love her on a regular basis

• • Help her with the most challenging house chore

6. A Real Man is a Gentleman

He has self-controlled power and strength. He is humble, kind and is not easily provoked. Our Lord Jesus Christ is the saviour of the world; however, he said in Mathew Chapter 11 verse 29:

Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me.

Jesus has power; but he uses it for good purposes. As the head of the home, you must manage your physical strength with grace and gentleness. God made you physically stronger so that you can care for your wife and protect her. Do not misuse your power and authority over your wife and everyone else around you. Gentleness is the spiritual medicine for anger and the desire to retaliate when you are offended. Don’t hurt your wife with your words. You must allow the holy spirit to control your emotions when you are tempted to be angry and harsh. She is your helpmate; specially crafted by God to help you become all that you are created to be. So, treat her with tenderness and make allowance for her faults. The Bible says in Ephesians Chapter 4 verse 2:

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

In conclusion, a real man is not perfect; he is work in progress. So, you must continue to grow up in love and become mature. As the word of God says in Ephesians Chapter 4 verse 13:

This work must continue until we are all joined together in the same faith and in the same knowledge of the Son of God. We must become like a mature person, growing until we become like Christ and have his perfection.