It is important for you to make a conscious effort to ensure that the spiritual health of your heart is not compromised. Guard the affections of your heart and allow the spirit of God to align your expectations with reality.
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Your husband needs your support and admiration for him to be physically, mentally, and morally strengthened to fulfill his dual role of a husband and father in your marriage.
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10 Qualities of a virtuous woman at the heart of her maker. “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.” Proverbs 31:10
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Ola Afolabi July 16, 2020 10 Signs He is Not the One There is no Mr. Right, because he is not perfect; he is work in progress. Below are 10 Signs that will help you to quickly discover that the man you are in relationship with is not right for you. 1. If he is not honest and trustworthy, he lacks personal integrity. His actions and behaviour is not a true reflection of who he really is. He will not keep his promises and will not follow through on his commitments. A good name [earned by honorable behavior, godly wisdom, moral courage, and personal integrity] is more desirable than great riches; And favor is better than silver and gold. (Proverbs 22:1) 2. If he wants you to hide the relationship from family and friends because he doesn’t want to be accountable to anyone; and if he wants both of you to get married secretly. There is nothing called a secret marriage, he obviously has ulterior motives. For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. (Mark 4:22) 3. If he is not proud of you and makes you feel bad about yourself; he has not accepted, you for who you are. You cannot take on a false identity to be with a man. Your man should inspire you to be a better person; however, this must not be at the expense of losing your identity. God created you in a unique way and you must believe what God said about you. Although you are not perfect, you have been credited with the perfection of Jesus Christ. My darling, everything about you is beautiful, and there is nothing at all wrong with you (Songs of Solomon 4:7) 4. If he does not want to define the relationship, uses vague words and would rather you continue to see how things will work out between the two of you, he doesn’t know what he wants and is just leading you on. He might be trying out other relationships like clothing; trying to see which one fits the most. Make wise use of your time. Some people promise things that they never give. They are like clouds and wind that bring no rain. (Proverbs 24:14) 5. If he does not want to talk about your future together and does not understand his purpose in life, he has not yet seen you in his future. A man who does not understand his purpose will find it difficult to recognise the woman that will help him to fulfil his purpose. He needs to seek God’s face and ask him to reveal his purpose and he will surely do. I will cry to God Most High, who accomplishes all things on my behalf [for He completes my purpose in His plan]. (Psalm 57:2) 6. When he talks badly of everyone, including his parents and family members and blame other people for the challenges he is facing, he is not someone that would take responsibility for his actions. He is likely to avoid taking responsibilities in marriage. For every person will have to bear [with patience] his own burden [of faults and shortcomings for which he alone is responsible]. (Galatians 6:5) 7. If he is using you to flex his muscles; he needs to learn anger management. A man that is unable to control his emotions is not ready for matrimony. Better to be slow to anger than to be a mighty warrior, and one who controls his temper is better than one who captures a city. (Proverbs 16:32) 8. If he is too busy to go to Church, doesn’t like to pray and tells you that faith is a thing of the heart. If he doesn’t change, he may not be a good spiritual leader in marriage and may prevent you from being all that God has called you to be. You must give the man the chance to encounter God first. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can do the work of redemption in a man’s life. Some people have stopped meeting with the group of Christians. But that is not good. We should continue to meet together. We need to help one another to be strong and brave. (Hebrews 10:25) 9. If he wants you to compromise the boundaries you have established through personal convictions based on your relationship with God; he wants you to do things you wouldn’t normally do or believe things which are contrary to the word of God. God does not like it when boundaries are removed. The princes of Judah are like those who move boundary markers. I will pour out my rage on them like torrential flood! (Hosea 5:10) 10. If he is putting pressure on you to lower your moral standards; he wants to defile you. You are bought with a price, which is the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. If a man does not value purity while single, he will not value purity in marriage. So, as God’s people, you must never have sex with anyone you are not married to. Do not do any kind of dirty thing like that. Do not want many things for yourselves, just to make you happy. That is not how God’s people should live. (Ephesians 5:3) The truth is that premarital sex can never make two people cleave to each other. Amnon defiled Tamar, he hated her afterwards. The Bible says: After this, Amnon hated Tamar with such intensity that the hatred he hated her with was greater than the love he had loved her with. “Get out of here!” he said. (2 Samuel 13:15) So, is your intended spouse a Mr Right, Mr Wrong or Mr Not Right now? I pray that God will give you the wisdom you need to make the right choice. Leave Your Comment Cancel Reply Logged in as Ola Afolabi. Log out? Δ This site uses Akismet to
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Ola Afolabi June 28, 2020 Spice up Your Marriage with Love Recipes It is important that you work at keeping romance alive in your marriage so that your marriage can get more exciting as the years go by. Love recipes are what you do or say that will meet your spouse’s innermost needs. A blend of these is essential for your marriage to continue to grow and it will bring out the best in you. However, for you love recipes to work, you must keep God at the centre of your marriage and include prayers as one of your ingredients. This will empower you to focus on how your spouse wants to be loved, rather than what you think is right. So, go ahead and have meaningful conversation with your spouse so that both of you can discover the best ways to express love to each other, and this will make a difference in your marriage. Find out in turn what you can both expect from each other, making sure that your expectations are realistic. Write down the top 5 and arrange them in order of importance. These are the love recipes that you both need to blend on a consistent basis to spice up your marriage. Then, you will be doing the most important things for each other and the aromas of the spices will fill your home. You will be translated to the level of intimacy that will give your marriage the emotional stability that you desired. The love recipes that your spouse appreciate will most likely be different to yours. Your spouse might prefer that you spend more time at home at the weekends or expect some words of encouragement from you after a long day at work. If you focus on other things at that time, your spouse might feel unloved. This is because you have used a combination of recipes which is not appealing to your spouse. You must protect your garden of love by using your differences to your advantage. Also, you have to be ready to make the first move. So, be proactive and go out of your way to find out the kind of love recipes that will appeal to your spouse. You can do this by learning more about your spouse’s interests, thoughts and goals; because therein lies the clue to the love recipes that you will need to blend for your marriage to move to a new level. Marriage is partnership; so, choose to do things together, side by side. The more you learn about your spouse, the more you will stay in love. You will understand your spouse and you will be understood in turn. Support your spouse’s interest rather than being critical and demanding; your spouse will find you romantic and this will foster intimacy and closeness in your marriage. If your spouse got married to you because of your kind words, then you must include this love recipe in your love bowl and compliment your spouse the more. Use words that builds up so that your spouse can feel more desirable around you. Just as the Bible says in Songs of Songs Chapter 1:15-16: Look at you, my dearest darling, you are so lovely! You are beauty itself to me. Your passionate eyes are like gentle doves. And the lover replied: My beloved one, both handsome and winsome, you are pleasing beyond words. Our resting place is anointed and flourishing, like a green forest meadow bathed in light. So, why can’t you pick one of your spouse’s love recipes and blend it with pomegranates of passion, and every other lovely spice; and trust me, a taste of this will bring that honeymoon phase back into your marriage and your vineyard of love will start to bloom. And that is why I will liken building a good marriage to two people growing a healthy garden. You cannot expect love to look after itself. However, if you look after your garden of love, it will continue to grow because it is well nourished and according to Song of Songs Chapter 4 verse 16; you can confidently proclaim: Stir up the sweet spice of your life within me. Spare nothing as you make me your fruitful garden. Hold nothing back until I release your fragrance. Come walk with me as you walked with Adam in your paradise garden. Come taste the fruits of your life in me. And your lover can boldly reply: I have come to you, my darling bride, for you are my paradise garden! Come walk with me until I am fully yours. Come taste the fruits of your life in me.’ Leave Your Comment Cancel Reply Logged in as Ola Afolabi. Log out? Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
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Ola Afolabi June 11, 2020 Get Rid of Bitterness Have you been hurt in the past and you are finding it difficult to let go of the person that hurt you? Have you had a broken heart caused by someone you love and respect and you are finding it difficult to forgive? Have you reached the conclusion that you can never trust anyone again? I’ve got good news for you; God wants to heal you. He is a specialist at mending broken hearts but you have to co-operate with Him to help you turn the bitterness in your heart to forgiveness. “…lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled”. Hebrews 12:15 A seed of bitterness is planted in your heart when you are wronged by someone and you refuse to forgive. The root develops beneath the surface and begins to grow. It doesn’t become a plant straight away; but over a period of time, it becomes manifest in your words, attitudes, actions and deeds, thus preventing you from getting a godly husband or wife and causing you to hurt your spouse in marriage – a hurting person will hurt others. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” Ephesians 4:31 Bitterness is defilement to your spirit, soul and body. It is a pollutant and now is the time for you to get rid of it with the help of the Holy Spirit. Do not allow bitterness to rob you of your blessings. The person who hurt you have probably moved on. Why must you suffer the consequences of someone’s actions, causing yourself harm? Forgiveness is a gift from God to us; we didn’t pay a dime for it. When you forgive people, instead of being bitter towards them, you are putting your confidence in God as your source of joy. You are looking at the person who hurt you the way he or she really is – human, prone to errors and imperfect. But, if you refuse to let go of the hurt, then you will not be able to move on to greater things that God has for you. I encourage you to make up your mind today to forgive. Go ahead and make that phone call and be bold to say the word: “I forgive you”. Go ahead and write that letter, there is no need to procrastinate. God wants to do amazing things for you this season; but in order for that to happen, you have to let go of past hurts and let God step in and cause His light to shine in through your cracks. Leave Your Comment Cancel Reply Logged in as Ola Afolabi. Log out? Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
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If you water your garden, it will grow because it is being nourished. Do not expect love to look after itself, rather water it as you would a real garden.
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She desired a change in her circumstances, and she cried out to the prophet. The only thing she had was a jar of oil. Elisha asked the widow to gather vessels, specifically empty ones – these are the only vessels that can receive the outpouring of the fresh oil which will bring forth a lasting change in the woman’s situation. “Then he said, Go around and borrow vessels from all your neighbors, empty vessels–and not a few.” (2 Kings 4:3 AMPC) Our Lord Jesus Christ emptied himself of all his divine privileges including his equality with God and reduced himself to the form of a lowly servant. By doing this, he was exalted to the highest place and given the name that is above all names. “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” (Philippians 2:5-7 NIV) What change do you desire in your marriage? You already have in your hands the key to your desired breakthrough – when you empty yourself, the Holy Spirit will fill you up with wisdom to handle the circumstances you are facing and turn things around in your favour.
If you focus on your weaknesses, you will lose focus of the many things God wants to do through you. I am confident that God will use you to do the impossible if you remain flexible in His hands.
The Bible described Abigail as sensible and beautiful. She does things with wisdom and we can say she’s ‘intelligent’. The name Abigail means “Father Rejoices”. David sent his men to Abigail’s husband, Nabal to ask for provisions as a reward for his kindness to Nabal’s shepherds. Nabal was very cruel to David’s men – David gathered his men with their swords to fight Nabal and Abigail was informed by one of her servants. Abigail took action immediately. She knows what it will cost her if she delays. It could mean the loss of all she had ever dreamed of, including her family. She rode on a donkey into a mountain towards 400 men with swords and an angry leader. She was prepared to save her family. With gifts in hand, she interceded for her husband and her household: “Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live.” (I Samuel 25:28 ESV). Woman, a lot relies on you in your home. How about setting time apart to pray, fast and seek the face of God to get instructions on what to do. Like the children of Issachar, now is the time for you to arise, take action and utilize your God-given problem-solving skills to make a difference in your home: “There were two hundred leaders from Issachar. They knew what Israel should do, and they knew the right time to do it. Their relatives were with them and under their command.” (1 Chronicles 12:32 NCV)
