Courtship is a committed relationship where there is a mutual agreement to pursue marriage. You can enhance the quality of your Courtship by growing in friendship love and this will help your marriage to succeed. Friendship is God’s idea and is one of the foundations of a successful marriage.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him

Genesis 2:18

You cannot build your marriage on romantic love alone. Friendship is needed to sustain your commitment to be together. When you are best friends with your intended spouse, you are on the path to a long-lasting, healthy, and loving marriage relationship.

The Bible says in Proverbs Chapter 27 verse 9 (TPT):

Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence. 

Proverbs 27:9

Jesus is the best friend that you can ever have. In my last article and video, I discussed why it is important for a believer to get married to someone within the household of faith. I encourage you to read this article or watch the video (https://youtu.be/sZCIAK2QfbU).  You must keep Jesus at the centre of your relationship.

So, for you to deepen your friendship during courtship, you must:

 

• • Be real with each other

Spend time talking about your goals, interests, calling, and perspectives about different areas of life. Share your personal feelings and thoughts honestly – including your hurts, doubts, and fears. One of the things that prevents people from being real is the fear of rejection. But for you to know yourselves for real, you must face this fear by being open and genuine. The friendship we have with Jesus Christ is a reality. We have access into the deep things of God by the power of the Holy Spirit. If you truly love someone, you will look for ways to show them your true self.

Be authentic and don’t try to be someone you are not. Covering up your weaknesses is not an option either; instead, give your intended spouse the opportunity to love you unconditionally. If you are sincere and transparent with each other, you’ll be able to address any issues that may jeopardise your happiness in the future. A good marriage cannot be built on lies and deceit. In Ephesians Chapter 4 verse 25 (TPT), the Bible says:

So, discard every form of dishonesty and lying so that you will be known as one who always speaks the truth, for we all belong to one another.

Ephesians 4:25

 

• • Be there for each other

Not just when things are going well, but also during challenging times. Your love for each other will be tested when the going gets tough. Pray for each other and stir one another up unto good works. This is like making deposits into your bank account; and you will reap great dividends for it. According to Ecclesiastes Chapter 4, verses 9 and 10 (NLT):

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

True friends show genuine interest in each other’s pursuits and goals. Don’t focus on what you can gain from your relationship, rather focus on being a good friend by making sacrifices and putting the other person’s interests above yours. Jesus Christ demonstrated this sacrificial love in John Chapter 15 Verses 12 and 13 (TPT):

This is My commandment, that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you. No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends.

John 15:12-13

Your friendship with your intended spouse must reflect the friendship you have with Jesus Christ. Also, your time together must draw you closer to God. I look forward to sharing with you how to build Spiritual Intimacy in Courtship Goals Part 2.