It is natural for you to desire to love someone who can love you in return. How would you know if you are in love or infatuated with a member of the opposite sex? When you are infatuated with someone, you are completely carried away by an attraction. The love disappears as quickly as it comes. It cannot stand the test of time because it is not strong enough to handle the challenges of life. It causes you to lose your sense of reasoning and you are completely blinded to the flaws of the other person – even when your loved ones can see some red signals. The person you are infatuated with seems perfect in every sense and you are in an “emotionally high” state of mind, covered up with “goose pimples”.
You are infatuated with a member of the opposite sex when he or she has become your idol. You feel as if you are in love, but the truth is that you are fantasizing. Because you are so consumed with this person, you become distracted from your day to day duties and you start to neglect your responsibilities – including service to God, education and other future plans and goals. When you are infatuated, you lack common sense because your romantic feelings have taken over. I do agree that romance is good! But it has to be within the boundaries of God’s timing and purpose.
“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem (and brothers too), Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.” (Songs of Solomon 8:4 NKJV)
Real Love is Agape – It’s not magic. So, for you to understand what love is, you must have encountered God because the Bible says “God is Love”. Real love is not the same as being physically attracted to someone – although there is an element of physical attraction associated with love. You can be attracted to someone without loving the person. That is why a marriage cannot be built on physical attraction alone.
Agape love is a choice and it is summarized in I Corinthians Chapter 13:
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (I Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV)
Since you cannot become all that is written in the above scriptures overnight, then you cannot “fall” in love with someone overnight. The root of love is friendship. The reason is because you cannot love someone that you do not know – it takes time for you to get to know someone. Unlike infatuation, agape love is not blind. It is selfless – this means that you can go the extra mile for the one you love. It is commitment – if the person you love is experiencing one challenge or the other and your love is genuine, you wouldn’t quit because of that, rather you will persevere.
Real love is choosing not to love someone who is not right for you – that is what I call “common sense”.
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